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bethune
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« on: Tue 2 April, 2013 - 09:59 pm »

This was originally shown on BBC TV back in the seventies. Ronnie
 Barker could say all this without a sn****r (though god knows how many
 takes).

 Irony is that they received not one complaint. The speed of
 delivery must have been too much for the whining herds.
 Try getting through it without converting the spoonerisms [and not wetting your pants] as you read ....

 This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters.

 Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion.

 Rindercella worked very hard frubbing sloors, emptying poss pits,
 and shivelling shot. At the end of the day, she was knucking fackered.

 The sugly isters were right bugly astards. One was called Mary Hinge,
 and the other was called Betty Swallocks; they were really forrible
 huckers; they had fetty sweet and fatty swannies.

 The sugly isters had tickets to go to the ball, but the cotton
 runts would not let Rindercella go.

 Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother appeared. Her
 name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian.

 She turned a pumpkin and six mite wice into a hucking cuge farriage with
 six dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and dig bicks.

 The gairy fodmother told Rindercella to be back by dimnlight
 otherwise, there would be a cucking falamity.

 At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when
 suddenly the clock struck twelve.

 "Mist all chucking frighty!!!" said Rindercella, and she ran
 out tripping barse over ollocks, so dropping her slass glipper.

 The very next day the prandsome hince knocked on Rindercella's door and
 the sugly isters let him in.. Suddenly, Betty Swallocks
 lifted her leg and let off a fig bart.

 "Who's fust jarted??" asked the prandsome hince.

 "Blame that fugly ucker over there!!" said Mary Hinge.

 When the binking strown cloud had lifted, he tried the slass glipper on
 both the sugly isters without success and their feet stucking funk.

 Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a
 knack in the kickers.

 This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge halls and a hig bard on.

 He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking
 ferfectly.

 Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The pransome hince
 lived his life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived hers with a follen
 swanny!
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Lux
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« Reply #1 on: Wed 3 April, 2013 - 12:24 pm »

 
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Obi Wan Kanobi said. "I have never seen such a wretched hive of scum and villainy." Little did Obi Wan realize he was describing the National party.
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