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| | |-+  How to shower like a woman............ stolen from TM
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Author Topic: How to shower like a woman............ stolen from TM  (Read 847 times)
Butterfly Angel
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« on: Thu 18 March, 2010 - 09:31 pm »

how to shower like a woman

Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups leg-lifts, etc.
Get in the shower.
Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.

Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs.
Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mould spots with Tile cleaner.
Get out of shower.
Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
If you see partner along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

How To Shower Like a Man

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see partner along the way, shake willy at her making the 'woo-woo'sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.
Get in the shower.
Wash your face.
Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

Wash your bum, leaving those coarse hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair.
Make a Shampoo Mohican
Wee.
Rinse off and get out of shower.
Partially dry off.
Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time.
Admire willy size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
If you pass partner, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
Throw wet towel on bed.
Put on underwear and squeeze out one more fart to christen them.
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Brain
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« Reply #1 on: Thu 18 March, 2010 - 09:44 pm »

yes, this is true






 
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Butterfly Angel
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« Reply #2 on: Thu 18 March, 2010 - 10:12 pm »

   It is eh 
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Coach
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« Reply #3 on: Fri 19 March, 2010 - 05:36 am »

So, what's the problem?
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This is pitiful. A thousand people freezing their butts off waiting to worship a rat. What a hype.
bytey
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« Reply #4 on: Sat 20 March, 2010 - 04:38 pm »

I was reading this and I was like what do I do when I got for a shower...I am gonna share.

How to shower like bytey:

Turn shower and fan on
f**k round doing someothing else for 10 minutes even though shower is instantly hot
walk to bathroom with clothes on
talk clothes off just outside bathroom door and drop them next to the washing basket
remember i have forgotten something and walk nakies to get it, if passing mr bytey, pull a brown eye or shake flabby ass at him
get in shower
wash hair
shave pits
soap up hands and quickly wash body and privates
feel legs to see if they need shaving, a bit prickly but f**k it it can wait til the weekend
get out
wrap towel around
brush teeth
clean ears
lie on th ebed wrapped in towel making the bed wet for half an hour (weekend or if workday directly to next action)
use same towel to dry body and hair then hang on hook coz hate washing so will use it again tomorrow
get dressed

I cant decide if i am closer to a man or a woman....bwhahahahahahahahahah
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The Fat Controller™
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« Reply #5 on: Sat 20 March, 2010 - 04:52 pm »

I know eek






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1121 (+2087/-966) 
BoB exist in his dog.

       
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