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Author Topic: I need a doctor QUICK!  (Read 670 times)
Butterfly Angel
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« on: Tue 30 March, 2010 - 10:48 pm »

1. A man dashes into the A&E dept. And yells, 'My wife's going to have her baby in the taxi.'
I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the taxi, lifted the lady's dress and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly after protests from the lady I noticed that there were several taxis, and I was in the wrong one.

Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald, St. Andrews Hosp. Glasgow.

2. At the beginning of my shift, I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. 'Big breaths,' I instructed.
'Yes, they used to be,’ .... Replied the patient.

Submitted by Dr. Richard Barnes, St.Thomas's Bath

3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her on her mobile phone reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a 'massive internal fart.'

Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg Royal London Hosp.

4. During a patient's two week follow-up appointment, he told me that he was having trouble with one of his medications.
'Which one?’. . ....... I asked.
'The patch; the Nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it !'
I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now, the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.
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Brain
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« Reply #1 on: Tue 30 March, 2010 - 10:55 pm »

 
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smile4me
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« Reply #2 on: Wed 31 March, 2010 - 09:17 am »

 
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The Fat Controller™
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« Reply #3 on: Wed 31 March, 2010 - 09:22 am »

 Brought to you by dab #1 is so norty!
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