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smile4me
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ha!
« on: Sun 8 August, 2010 - 05:32 pm »

Q: What did the banana say to the vibrator?
A: Why are YOU shaking? She's going to eat me!
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smile4me
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« Reply #1 on: Sun 8 August, 2010 - 05:36 pm »

One day there was a Maori, Aussie, Kiwi and a African man. They were on a plane. Then the pilot from up front shouted back, "We are losing height. Throw out all the luggage."
So, all the men threw out all the luggage. Then the pilot said, "We are still dropping in height!"

So the African said, "I'm doing this for my country," and then he jumped out the window.

Then the Maori said, "I'm doing this for my country," and he jumped out the window.

Then the Kiwi said, "I'm doing this for my country," and then he pushed the Aussie out the door.

 
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smile4me
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« Reply #2 on: Sun 8 August, 2010 - 05:40 pm »

    Maori fella walks into a dairy and asks for a tin of cat food. Indian dairy owner says "Oh no - I am hearing about you Maori fellows and how you put cat food into pastry and call it meat pie. Please bring cat into shop for me to see and you can have cat food". Maori fella says "oh man, I don't even know where the cat is right now - probably chasing birds." Indian dairy owner says "No cat, no cat food".

    Maori fella sulks away from shop. Same guy comes in a week later and asks for a tin of dog food for his dog. Indian dairy owner gives him the same run down, "No dog - no doggy food'. Maori fella is really upset and storms off.

    He comes back a couple of days later with a big plastic bag and slams it on the counter. The dairy owner says "Oh what is this being please" and opens the bag and is overcome by the foul stench which is coming from the now open bag. Maori fellah says, "It's a bag of sh*t man, I want some toilet rolls!"

     

    Oma Rapiti!

    A man was driving through the country one day, and all of a sudden he hits a rabbit. He pulls over and runs to the dead rabbit, distraught and crying. He's so upset by what has just happened.

    A beautiful wahine driving down the same road, sees the man crying at the side, pulls over, walks up to him and asks him what's wrong.

    The man blubbering, tells her about how he just killed this rabbit. Anyway, she gets up and runs to her car and grabs a can of spray, comes back and starts spraying the rabbit. Next thing the rabbit starts twitching, jumps up and shoots off. After the rabbit gets 10 metres away, it turns around and starts waving. The rabbit starts running off again, but after it had gone a few metres it turns around and starts waving.

    This kept on happening and the tane asks the wahine: "what is in that can?". She looks at the can and starts reading: "Hair-Spray: puts life back into hair and adds perpetual wave".

     
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smile4me
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« Reply #3 on: Sun 8 August, 2010 - 05:46 pm »

IT WAS THE SUNNIEST DAY IN OTARA and this Samoan guy was mowing his lawns when this ambulance flew by with its sirens on... the Samoan guy starts chasing the ambulance and threw his jandal at the ambulance yelling at him to stop... the ambulance finally stopped and the samoan went up to the ambulance driver, panting HARDOUT and goes, "Can I please have....50 cent....icecream?"
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Red
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« Reply #4 on: Mon 9 August, 2010 - 08:26 am »

IT WAS THE SUNNIEST DAY IN OTARA and this Samoan guy was mowing his lawns when this ambulance flew by with its sirens on... the Samoan guy starts chasing the ambulance and threw his jandal at the ambulance yelling at him to stop... the ambulance finally stopped and the samoan went up to the ambulance driver, panting HARDOUT and goes, "Can I please have....50 cent....icecream?"
Wouldn't that involve too much exercise for a Samoan?  eek
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« Reply #5 on: Mon 9 August, 2010 - 11:23 am »

Next Hammy GTG ...


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BoB exist in his dog.

       
Stu
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« Reply #6 on: Mon 9 August, 2010 - 06:52 pm »

IT WAS THE SUNNIEST DAY IN OTARA and this Samoan guy was mowing his lawns when this ambulance flew by with its sirens on... the Samoan guy starts chasing the ambulance and threw his jandal at the ambulance yelling at him to stop... the ambulance finally stopped and the samoan went up to the ambulance driver, panting HARDOUT and goes, "Can I please have....50 cent....icecream?"
Wouldn't that involve too much exercise for a Samoan?  eek

Not if he's thinking he's going to get food out of it eek
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smile4me
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« Reply #7 on: Thu 12 August, 2010 - 06:52 pm »

 Brought to you by dab 
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